Is it possible to feel completely happy, but then start thinking about your past and the people you have hurt and let down and also feel completely sad? Out of the blue this started with me. I am in a relationship and I am so happy. Everything is going really well, but then I think about the stuff I have done and I feel…shame and guilt. I told others I didn’t want to be labeled as “that” person, but it looks like I went and labeled MYSELF as that without anyone else’s help. Then I think, I haven’t the right to feel this way or maybe I deserve this. Maybe this is finally the “karma” (or whatever you want to call it) coming back to bite me on the ass. I don’t wish for anything to change right now because, as I said, I am happy. I just wish there was some way I could say something again without making something out of it or making it seem like I’m fishing for something else when I’m not. I just want to feel better today. Maybe I’m just having an off day. I dont know. All I keep thinking is that this is “what I get”.

I get insulted when someone looks at decisions I have made and makes it seem like I am an ignorant, unintelligent fool. Fuck off. I do not need a zillion lectures and pieces of advice that I did not ask for. Just knock it off.

Grab your close friends, the Oscar’s and some alcohol and you are good to go.

Candace and Brooke, I love you guys so much. You may not know it, but you guys help me so much you don’t even know. <33

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(Source: kookoomama, via lmaogtfo)